He's gone and we all lived through it :( barely...

Monday Kevin left for Korea and it was pretty much a bad day all the way around... Titus didn't show much emotion all day... Levi cried all day and said he wished daddy could just be a cop here and not ever have to go away again :( and Tater didn't have a clue and says daddy's gone and I say yeah he's gone and he says OTAY ... On the way home from the air port was a pretty quiet ride, just daddy and me. We got to talking about how I could try to pass the time by making goals for myself and sticking with them. So I have been thinking lately about what my goals would be for while he is gone and this is what I have come up with: Lose 100 lbs, exercise daily, be a better mommy to our boys, write letters to Kevin since I know he loves getting hand written stuff, and last but not least learn to LOVE myself INSIDE and OUT!!! There I said it I have had an issue with loving and liking myself my whole life and I am so tired of feeling the way I do about me...work in progress. I am so thankful I have my parents here to help me through this time, not just emotionally but also physically. I went to the eye Dr. today and he of course says he can get me into the right contacts but its gonna take time... and if I weren't here with mom and dad we would have had to hire someone to take care of me, bc I can't drive as of right now and I can't read my boys school papers, I turn the stove on low when I mean to put it on high, I almost put BBQ sauce in my coffee this morning lol (you can laugh here if you feel the need) just a few things to help you understand why I MUST be here !!! I love my parents and have a wonderful relationship with both of them, I couldn't always say that and that makes me so very happy to be able to count on them !!! I know the Lord knew who to put into my path to help me find my way back to Him, because he knew all along I had this disease and would soon be living without Kevin again, and would need to have good relationship with my parents and for that I am so thankful for the Lords leading. I am also thankful for Bro Stewart of Watertown Baptist Temple God used him in great ways to work in my life and my heart. Anyway... I weigh in in the morning and I didn't lose ANY last week so I am praying I lose this week I will be very...very... upset if I don't lose :( .